IF BABY HAD A DIARY...


Today I experienced my first ever experience of pregnancy constipation. Yea, this blog is going to be completely TMI. STAY WARNED!

So, I am sitting there, visiting for the 3rd time, hoping to finally get my business done. And then, my baby starts moving. I’m like “Dude, don’t you know I hate to miss your movements, but I am trying to concentrate here”. Now in a dilemma, I am wondering what I should concentrate on, and suddenly things begin to go all smoothly. I’m like “Wow! Was my baby trying to help me or what!” And suddenly a little voice in my head (which I believe was my baby telepathically communicating with me) says, “What is this crap (pun intended)! Get it outta here, I need more room!” *kicking* *kicking**kicking**kicking**kicking**kicking**kicking**kicking**kicking**kicking*

And then a brilliant idea occurred to me, why don’t I write about the funny things my baby does! Baby seems to be the only topic I care to write about these days. And there he is, my little kicker, kick telling me “Yo mama! That’s an excellent idea for a new blog!”

So, let me try to frame the extremely funny baby-to-be in his own words. But how would baby talk, or how would we know what baby wants to say? What if baby maintained a journal…

If baby maintained a journal, I assume the entries would read as follows:
  • Dear Mom, today I helped you get relief from your first experience of pregnancy constipation (or so you think). Honestly, I was just trying to make more room inside for me.
  • Dear Mom, today I helped you make daddy jealous. Remember the look on his face (or the disappointment in his voice that I heard) when I would stop kicking every time he tried to feel me move?
  • Dear Mom, today I helped you surprise daddy with my all-time special somersault moves. Remember how happy he was when I was dancing away happily inside you?
  • Dear Mom, I might have given you bit of a scare today. I’m sorry I overslept. That’s the only reason I wasn’t nudging you every chance I got. Promise never to do that again
  • Dear Mom, I kept you up all night today. Couldn’t help but think that you might need a little practice staying up before I arrive. You have no idea how cozy the inside of my current bedroom is.
  • Dear Mom, you were singing to me today. Don’t mind me, but the guy in the song when you play it on your phone sounds way better. I love your voice though!
  • Dear Mom, why is dad calling me by such an annoying name? If he continues this after I am born, I will end up being the subject of everyone’s jokes. BTW, I loved the way you gave him an equally annoying name to get our revenge.
  • Dear Mom, there was a power-cut while you were sleeping, and you were wondering how I knew about it. Lucky guess! You see, I know that nothing stresses you out more than disturbed sleep, and I could sense your stress from in here. Chill out mom, stress is not good for me!


And then later one day when the baby would say “Here mom, I maintained a diary for you, just like you would write me letters, so we didn’t miss out each other’s experiences and memories during my manufacturing.”


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Comments

  1. UnknownJuly 14, 2018 at 11:51 PM

    Hello!
    Congratulations on being a mom to be!
    Thanks for a good read..keep it up

    ReplyDelete

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