The Rant of a Baby Obsessed Mom

HEADSUP: This is going to be a baby obssessed mother's rant about her baby!!

This was supposed to be a facebook post or a short Instagram story. But the more I thought about it, the more it hit me. 

"The purest form of love is not a mothers' but it is that of a child"

I know, I know I've said it before, but the more real something seems to me, the more I want to write about it. My kid is almost 2, and every single day, atleast a hunderd times I feel the purity of his love.

Scientifically, a kid is a parasite that grew in your uterus, sucked out all the calcium from your bones and latched on in there till it was ready to deal with the world. And even then, he stayed latched on to you everytime he needed nutrition and your selfless body knew exactly how to take care of his every growing demand. So why do I call his love so pure? His nutrition sucking parasitic love.

Sometimes I wonder if its just the hormones which make me fall more in love with my parasite or is he actually that lovable. I think its the latter. For those of you who don't know, I am a very emotional person, and as my kid began to grow up, he has become a totally emotionally supportive best friend. When I laugh, he laughs. When I lay down, he pulls my arm and comes and lies down with me. When I cry, he tries to copy me and ends up making me laugh. I carry him and he rests his head on my shoulder pretending to sleep while his arms wrap tightly around me. I point to my cheek and he plants a kiss on me. I spread my arms and he comes running. 

The more I look at him, the more I feel amazed at how in the middle of every storm that goes on inside of me, he grounds me. He gives me a reason to hold on, not out of obligaton, but out of hope. Those deep brown eyes on that cute round face, staring at me like nothing in the world is more important to him than me. Like I am all he needs and if I just look beyond my worldly insecurites, he is all I really need too. 

Those moments when he is just siting on my lap and playing with my face, poking his fingers painfully in my eyes or pulling my hair while trying to pull out my hairstick, the pure joy of looking at his face, smiling away enjoying the pain he puts me through is somehow the oasis in my desert. The moment I would love to relive for my entire life in a heartbeat. Because isn't that his way of saying, "I am yours and you are all mine".

I have never had someone understand my every wordless communication so better, never have I had someone be with me in every little emotional ride. And as he grows up, he gets more and more understanding, but I wonder, till when. As a mother, my biggest concern is about the time he starts to go to school, and the world begins to see how awesome he is. Tears in my eyes every time I think about the very many people I will have to share him with as his world grows and I become smaller. Share the attention that was once all mine.